Author Archives: andy

A time for action

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So for a while now I’ve been saying that I was going to do the Darlington 10km road race. It never went any further. Well it takes place on Sunday 12th August which is only 49 days away. I therefore decided that today was a day to take action, my membership form is complete, the cheque is filled in and its all been placed in an envelope. To celebrate I went for a run, I don’t think I’ll be breaking any records, but if I can do it in around 50 mins I’ll be happy.

If your interested in taking part then applications are available from the Dolphin Centre, or online here.

Iraqi footballer

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The Newcastle manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football and is suitably impressed and arranges him to come over to Newcastle.

Two weeks later Newcastle are 4-0 down to Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Newcastle.

The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

“Hello mum, I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.”

“Wonderful,” says his mum, “Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and was robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.”

The young lad is very upset, “What can I say mum, but I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!” says his mum, “It’s your bloody fault we moved to Newcastle in the first place!”

The Weekend

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Well its been a good weekend. It started with an excellent bowls victory on Friday night and a few celebratory drinks. I decided that tea was overrated and so just drank beer instead, the outcome was a quite drunk Andy.

As a result of the previous night I got up quite late on Saturday and wasn’t really up to much, I washed my car and was exhausted. After a little rest I did manage to write some php for a message management system I’m writing for work. Its not really my job to write it and we are so short staffed at work that I don’t get enough piece and quiet to do it there. Also the fact that I don’t yet have a Mac at work and all my favourite programming tools are mac based means that its easier to write at home.

You may have noticed that I’ve switched my theme over, its not yet perfect, I think that some of the colours need tweaking, and that is something that I will hopefully do shortly.

Yesterday I decided to fully embrace the power of Facebook. MySpace is so last year. While with MySpace you can customise the look of your page, so what because most people don’t know what their doing and end up with something which looks really crap. With Facebook you can’t alter the style, but you can install applications, which means that I’ve been able to import my flickr photos, this very blog and my twitter status into my Facebook page. Its very good.

And so we come to today. Since I’d done all I needed yesterday today was slightly surplus to requirements, I therefore decided that the time was right to get my bike out so my dad and I went for a bit of a cruise round the country. It was interesting, I’ve seen rabbits, a chicken, lots of sheep and had to navigate through a field of cows. At one point we went about 4 miles down a narrow single track road to discover it just led to a farm. We had to turn around. It was good I didn’t crash.

Now I’m gonna make some more tweaks to my wordpress theme and then I think it will be time for bed. Next weekend I’m off to see Muse at Wembley, I can’t bloody wait!

A time for action

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Going on holiday is great, but it causes cash flow issues. I went to the bank on Friday and withdrew as much as they would let me have, now only £20 remains which is to last until Friday. Once I do get paid I need to buy road tax, pay off the remainder of my credit card bill, and rejoin the gym.

That’s right I’m re-joining the gym. The last time I was there was November and to be honest when I was going I wasn’t actually that motivated. You reach a point when you reach physical perfection, and that’s where I was, to become any fitter was going to take a lot of effort (if you know me you know I’m joking!) On a serious matter, I decided that I wanted a bit of time off, and it wouldn’t hurt if I put on a few pounds as extra insulation while on holiday, well winter is over and its time for summer preparations. I think I’ve actually put on something in the region of 1.5-2.0 stone and its time for it to go.

Today is London Marathon day, I’ve applied for it the past 2 years and so far have failed to get a place. Therefore with a year to go before the next one its time to get a training on the off chance that I actually get a place next year. I will therefore also be taking place in this years Darlington 10km road race where I will be aiming for a completion time of around 45 mins.

Children's Science Exam

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If you need a laugh, then read through these Children’s Science Exam Answers

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

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Canada 2007

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So I’ve been back to work now for only 4 days and yet it feels like I’ve never been away. The reality is that this time last week I was in Canada and it was amazing.

So where do I start with this epic adventure, obviously somewhere near the beginning. Well on Saturday 24th March myself and Phil departed sunny Darlington for Glasgow where we were to catch a plane the following day. The journey was rather uneventful and we arrived in due course. It turns out that the directions from the AA website weren’t that good since we arrived at the Holiday Inn rather than the Holiday Inn Express. It turns out that we weren’t the only ones to do this, it is however an easy mistake since the Express is hidden round the corner. Eventually we arrived, checked in and hit the bar for a few beers with Adrian (Phil’s bro), I somehow even managed to score a free round of beers from the bar staff.

Sunday

The next day we got up and went down for breakfast where I met the rest of the group, who were a splendid bunch of people. The next bit of the story is mainly a lot of waiting, some sitting and some travelling, I will therefore fast forward a little…..

….Upon arriving at the hotel we checked in a rushed off to our rooms. There had however been a huge mistake since it appeared as though we had been assigned a double room. Yes Phil is my friend, but we had no intention of being THAT friendly. I went back to reception to speak to the hugely attractive Aussie girl and triumphantly returned with keys to a new room. This room however was equipped to 2 large Queen sized beds.

Even though I’d been awake for a very long time it was still quite early, I can’t quite remember how we passed the time, but I believe we went to the liquor store to purchase some ale and then convened in one of the rooms for some Dominos pizza action. It was a great night. An early night was had because we were catching the first bus to Sunshine Village.

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