Oct
30
El Chombo
Filed Under Funny | 3 Comments
This is just wrong! Apparently his real name is Rodney.
Oct
29
Castleford?
Filed Under Running, Snowboarding | Leave a Comment
Right so its all nearly sorted, we’re off to Castleford on Sunday for some shopping, some boarding and some food. If you want to come then sign up here.
Oct
29
Surviving the weekend
Filed Under Diary, Running | 6 Comments
Well so far its been a busy weekend. It started on Friday night with a trip to the forum to watch Phil’s bosses band ‘Free’s Company‘, who were actually much better than I expected. They play music by Free and Bad Company, and since I wasn’t really familiar with any of their music didn’t really know what to expect. I shouldn’t have worried because they were quite good, and another to add to the collection.
On Saturday morning I woke early so I could take my bike for its MOT, I was a little apprehensive since I’ve not actually ridden my bike since I took it for its MOT last year. It actually turned out OK, it passed easily and I didn’t fall off and die so perhaps things are looking up. Might actually use it much more next year.
After getting back home, it was actually a bit of a rush to get ready to pick up Gordon, Helen and Simon before heading off to Hartlepool for the match. I won’t really talk about the game because there’s not much to say. It was a nil – nil draw, which on reflection was possibly a fair result, at least its a point and thats always better than none.
Upon returning home I had time for a quick change before I was due to pick Phil up for the days final event, a trip to the Tyne in Newcastle for 4 more bands for the MySpace Gig Challenge. One of the bands was a bit ropey, but the other three were pretty good. It was an enjoyable night followed by a trip to the pizza shop, then back home. It was a good job there was an extra hour last night!
Today I haven’t done much, have washed my bike and car, have packed away my biking clothes and am just going to chill this afternoon, need to get some petrol and some money so might pop over to Morrison’s, how exciting does that sound?
Oct
25
Don't delay update today
Filed Under Tech | 3 Comments
Its time to update your browser because yesterday Firefox version 2.0 was release, so now the best web browser has just got better. I’m not going to go on about the new features because there not that exciting. All you need to know it that its got built in spell checking so from now on when I can actually be bothered to post then it should be spelling free!
Oct
20
Let me be the first to say Happy Holloween.
Oct
20
Hungry?
Filed Under Funny | Leave a Comment
A woman asks her husband, “Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?” she asks.
He declines. “Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right now. It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
At lunchtime she again asked if he would like something. “How would you like a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?”
Again he declines. “The Viagra,” he says, “really trashes my desire for food.”
Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. “Would you like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken?
He declines again. “Naw, still not hungry.”
“Well,” she says, “would you mind letting me up? I’m starving.”
Oct
20
25 things to impress a girl
Filed Under Funny | 2 Comments
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better” this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she is say “you better be”, repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
Oct
19
White Wine
Filed Under Funny | Leave a Comment
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.
White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regiment of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.
White Wine may not be right for everyone.
Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine.
However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are Encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
The consumption of alcohol maycause pregnancy.
The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
Oct
17
Coming Soon!
Filed Under Running, Snowboarding | 40 Comments
So the nights are drawing in and soon the clocks will need to be adjusted Its soon going to be winter, and that means only one thing, it will be time to get my board out from it protective wrapping and time to hit the slopes. So far this winter I’ll be going to Bulgaria for a week in January and to Canada for two weeks in March. I say “so far” but lets face it I don’t think I can justify anymore time away boarding (but here’s hoping).
So what is the point of this post, well if your into your boarding and are getting the urge to hit the slopes, well why not take a look at this to get you in the mood.
Oct
9
Biff Sings
Filed Under Funny | Leave a Comment
Its Biff from ‘Back to the Future’ singing about all the questions he keeps being asked.