Sep
29
An Australian, an Irishman and a Mackem are in a bar. They’re staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He’s so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: “My God, it’s Jesus!” Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
After he’s finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him For the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: “My God! The arthritis I’ve had for 30 years is gone. It’s a miracle!”
Jesus then shakes the Aussie’s hand, thanking him for the lager. As He lets go, the man’s eyes widen in shock, “Strewth mate, the bad back I’ve had all my life is completely gone! It’s a miracle.”
Jesus then approaches Mackem who knocks over a chair and a table in trying to get away from the Son of God. “What’s wrong my son?” says Jesus. The Mackem shouts, “f*** off, I’m on disability benefit!”
Sep
28
And so it begins
Filed Under Diary, Running | Leave a Comment
Well its about to begin, the hell on earth that is October. The time of the year I hate the most (and not just because I’m another year older). No its because its that time of year when students return to Uni. While working in a University does mean that things are fairly quite during the summer months (although not as much this year), it’s a total nightmare for the first month of the new academic year.
There will always be some problems with the new registrations mainly due to inaccuracy in data meaning accounts not being setup. We will have issues with lots of returning students forgetting their student ID which will mean they will all need cancelling and reissuing. Plus there’s a high probability that there are gonna be 100s of students who can’t get there machines to work in their college rooms. The result massive queues, the phones ringing off the hook and an e-mail inbox which fills up faster than it can be emptied. Oh yeah and then theres always ‘freshers flu’.
So that’s what I’ve got to look forward to for the next month, just a little warning if I’m not very talkative or a bit off with you then sorry. For the month of October my mood will either be, pissed off or just pissed. I’m going to try not to let it affect me too much, basically by adopting an ‘I don’t give a shit attitude’, but no doubt by about 9.45 it will have all got too much and I will have shouted at someone, if that someone is you then sorry.
This was meaning to be a bit of a rant, was just in the mood for a rant, but unfortunately it just petered out a bit. Never really got started, think I’ll got to bed now and have another think about it, might try again tomorrow.
Ta ta.
Sep
26
Sep
23
TCTC
Filed Under Diary, Running | Leave a Comment
The Cooper Temple Clause’s new single “Homo sapiens” will be released on Mon 23rd Oct, it can be viewed on youtube, and if your interested they will be making an appearance as Digital this coming Thursday. Now I wonder, can I make it to work at 8.30 on a little over 3 hours sleep?
Read more
Sep
22
Life In The 1500s Interesting!
Filed Under Diary, Running | Leave a Comment
Did you know that….
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
These are interesting…
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off the roof. Hence the saying “It’s raining cats and dogs.”
Sep
19
What a mission!
Filed Under Diary, Running | Leave a Comment
I’ve switched web hosts, which means for the past few days I’ve been dealing with problems resulting from the switch. Thankfully, the switch seemed to go fine, the only problem I’ve had was when exporting the sql data for my wordpress blogs, some random text characters appear to have been introduced into some of the posts and comments. This means that I’ve spent the past few days going through 100’s of entries to correct these errors. Not fun.
Next I need to write some code for one of my other blogs to correctly display just the data from a single category rather than all the recent categories. (There is already a fuction which will ignore categories you don’t want publishing but this does not have the desired affect. Ten entries are supposed to be published per page, but if 6 were from the wrong category then it just displays the remaining 4 which isn’t really adequate).
Finally I need to start work on a new design for the new look South Park Bowls website. In addition its soon going to be October which means that its going to get stupidly busy at work, and I’ve still got much gig watching to do. Probably won’t get much of any of this done tomorrow though because I have a server to rebuild ready for a demo I need to give on Monday.
Sep
15
Nuff said:
http://www.wikihow.com/Dissuade-Yourself-from-Becoming-a-Blogger
Sep
13
Too funny not too
Filed Under Funny | 3 Comments
Its been a while since I posted, I figured I was going to live real life for a bit rather than this virtual one. I’ve just been e-mail this though and thought it was too funny not to post. Hope you enjoyoy.