Jun
30
Well I’ve just got back from holiday and I thought I’d better write down my thoughts while I can still remember. Just to describe the scene there were 13 of us in the same hotel split between 5 ground floor hotel rooms, my room was about 10m from the 24 hour bar and one of the loudest speakers ever was attached to the outside of the very thin walls. I was woken early on on a morning by either the TV, a film or more often than not some crap music.
Day One – Wed
Arrive early Wednesday morning, since I was so tired I went straight to bed for some well earned sleep. Wake up at around eleven in the morning and go out to catch a few rays by the pool, drink some beers and generally relax.
In the evening we went for a meal which was crap, it was supposed to be chicken fajitas, but was actually chicken and onion in a wrap. Disappointing. We returned to the hotel and went out for the evening at 20.00, we were wearing out specially customised holiday t-shirts and realised that Martin looked like PC Dave Quinon. Made the mistake of drinking rounds with Taylor, Keith and Marty. Woke up the following day having been carried back to the hotel.
Day Two – Thur
Did very little today, a bit of sunbathing a walk to the beach and a few beers. Took it very easy in the night time as I was suffering. Left early and went to McDonald’s.
Day Three – Fri
Can’t really remember much of what happened today but I suspect it went along the lines of get woken up by the loud sound system at the bar, sit in the sun, play some pool, check my e-mails, drink beer, eat some food, maybe go for a walk and then get pissed.
Day Four – Sat
More of the same.
Day Five – Sun
The day followed the usual pattern get up, sit in the sun for a bit, drink some beer, in the afternoon I went for a walk looking for the famous ‘Mr Sandwich’ found it eventually but in the end got some chips. In the evening there was a barbecue at the hotel then we went out and got blitzed.
Day Six – Mon
After some good quality sun bathing during the day I was slightly red by the evening. Went for a curry with a few of the others. It was rubbish, small portions, overpriced. I could have made better and probably have.
Our last night on the beer, did my best to last the night but failed, left early yet again but this time went to ‘The Blue Dolphin’ for the famous sausage, chips and curry sauce. It was very nice. Discovered a new route to the hotel which avoided a lot of the PRs we’d been putting up with all week.
Day Seven – Tue
Today was our final day, I got up quite early and did my final sunbathing before going for my last wander around with a few others. It has to be said the Malia is grotty, theres nothing there other than bars, clubs, gift shops or scooter rental shops.
We had to be out of our room be 19.00 so once checked out we went for out final meal together. We finally went to the Brasserie which we’d been recommended earlier in the week, it was amazing! The food was very nice and cheap. We wish we’d found it earlier! After the food we went back to the hotel to wait for our 1am pickup for the airport.
In general the holiday was great, if a little intense. Perhaps next year we’ll go somewhere a little more relaxing and yet I doubt it.
Jun
30
2CV – Zero Technology
Filed Under Funny | Comments Off
We’ve all seen that advert for the Citroen C2 of the dancing car, well take a look at this.
Jun
30
1. Start at Manchester Airport.
2. Catch flight from Manchester to London Heathrow Airport.
3. Catch flight from London Heathrow to Dallas Fort Worth Airport.
4. Hire car at Dallas Fort Worth Airport.
5. Start going toward the “Airport Exit” on “International ParkwaySouth” follow for 0.2 miles.
6. Bear left onto the highway toward “Terminal East Parking” – followfor 0.3 miles
7. Bear left onto “International Parkway North” toward “North AirportExit” – follow for 2.9 miles
8. Take the “Highway 114 west” exit toward “Fort Worth” – follow for 29.2 miles
9. Then continue on “US 287 north” – follow for 91.1 miles
10. “US 287 north” becomes “Interstate-44 east” – follow for 0.7 miles
11. Take left fork onto “US-287 north” toward “Vernon” – follow for 104.0 miles
12. “US 287 north” becomes “Avenue F (US-287)” – follow for 2.8 miles
13. Continue to follow “US 287 north” – follow for 104.9 miles
14. Take left ramp onto “Interstate 40 west” toward “Dumas” – follow for 7.8 miles
15. Take “Exit 70″ onto “US 60 east” toward “Dumas” – follow for 0.5 miles
16. Take the “Buchanan Street” exit toward “Dumas/Pampa” – follow for 1.7 miles
17. Turn right onto “Old Route 66 (Interstate 40)” – follow for 0.1 miles
18. Arrive at the centre of “Amarillo, Texas”
Now that’s the way to Amarillo!!!!!!!!
SO CAN EVERYONE STOP SINGING IT NOW . .
Jun
30
A Dog’s Diary:
8 am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favourite
10 am – Oh Boy! A walk! My favourite!
11 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favourite!
12 noon – Oh Boy! The kids! My favourite!
1 pm – Oh Boy! The yard! My favourite!
3 pm – Oh Boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favourite!
5 pm – Oh Boy! Mom! My favourite!
7 pm – Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
9 pm – Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favourite!
A Cat’s Diary:
Day 183 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. I must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. Must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. But they only cooed about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices and I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant as he seems to speak with the captors regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room with the little bars, his safety seems assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
Jun
19
So its been a while since I’ve had anything to say. Just thought I’d say that it will be a while longer as I’m off to Malia on Tuesday. I can’t wait!